


Aspiratioons2-plans executed

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-04
Updated: 2003-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:41:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14467155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: Feeling better, River knows what she wants and goes after it





	Aspiratioons2-plans executed

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

 

Aspiratioons2-plans executed

## Aspiratioons2-plans executed

### by deementedb

Aspirations2-plans executed 

Pairing River/Jayne   
Rating R-NC17 not really sure some swearing, some sexual situations Feedback: Yes please deementedb@aol.com Archive: fine with me.   
Disclaimers: Characters are not mine, just moving them around to my liking Spoilers: all episodes aired  
Notes: River plot's to have her way with Jayne and to have the crew accept her 

Jayne was conspicuously absent at the morning meal, which wasn't unheard of if he had been drinking the night before. Three hours later he still hadn't been seen. Mal suspected he had a bottle of liquor he had gotten into, couldn't think of any other reason. Peeved, he went to Jayne's bunk, knowing his hired gun always locked his room; he didn't bother trying to open it. He used a heavy wrench he had picked up in the engine room to bang loudly on the Merc's hatch. 

Jayne was yanked from an intense erotic dream by a loud banging. He sat up quickly, feeling disoriented. He took in the state of his room, groaning at the ache in his head. He jumped up and unlocked the hatch, pulling it open. "What the hell's goin on?" he said loudly. Mal quickly climbed down ready to give Jayne a piece of his mind. He looked him over, instead of yelling he turned around. His actions surprised Jayne who looked down at himself, surprised to find himself fully aroused. "Damn" He sat quickly on his bunk pulling his pillow into his lap. Mal turned around, relieved that Jayne had covered up. They both looked at each other for a moment. "You get drunk last night Jayne?" Mal asked. "Naw, Mal. What's with the wake up call, can't a guy get a decent night's sleep?" Jayne glanced at the time. "What the..." he looked again at the clock. "That the right time?" He stood, dropping the pillow to the floor. Mal huffed, averting his eye's again. "Get yerself... together. Got a lead on a possible job, was gonna go over it with you and Zoe this morning. You didn't show up. We'll go over it at lunch, assumin you can make it?" Mal left, closing the hatch behind him. 

Jayne picked up the clock, listening for the ticking, shaking it. He never slept that late. He had better get dressed and try to figure out what had happened to him. He couldn't even remember anything after getting to his bunk last night. He picked up his pants, searching for his shirt. Maybe he should go see the Doc, his head had a dull pounding and considering how long it had been since he had a drink a memory loss was disturbing. 

Jayne was out of sorts. He felt a little tired which was strange since he had slept so late. The slight headache cleared as he took a bracing shower, mulling over the dream he had been having when rudely awoken. He had sex dreams all the time, but the women involved were usually well defined, buxom, eager and skilled. This dream was vague, fuzzy, all about submission. He had felt helpless, held down, as if soft feathers were caressing him, some unseen captor torturing him with sensation. 

He toweled off and dressed, feeling good enough to skip his planned visit to Simon. There was, of course, the missing shirt and his memory lapse after returning to his room last night, but he was willing to let that go for now. The meeting about the job was soon, probably after lunch. He headed to the mess, stomach grumbling, having missed breakfast. Jayne dug into lunch greedily. 

"Missed ya this morning, Jayne." Kaylee commented. "Everything alright?" 

Jayne grunted, "feelin off, better now." Wash watched as he shoveled food into his mouth. 

"Looks like..." Wash started. "...apparently." Zoe sneered. 

Jayne had finished half his meal quickly, his stomach began to churn and he pushed his plate away. Mal noticed, "Jayne? Feeling okay?" Jayne was not used to so many inquiries. 

"Just want to know bout the job. Been way too long, eager to get there." Zoe was sitting next to Mal, "This as good a time as any, I guess." He laid out the job. 

The job would be lucrative. Only Mal, Jayne and Zoe would have to participate. It had been referred to them from a previous client. Zoe was a little wary over them not knowing anyone they were dealing with, but Mal was enthusiastic. It seemed fairly simple and he knew Zoe and Jayne could get through anything. 

A small factory on an outer rim planet was a front for a band of thieves' running protection scams on other small planets. They extorted credits from fledgling business towns just starting up in exchange for not destroying them outright. Sometimes they only hit a place once, sometimes on a regular basis. It would take the Alliance a long time before they would heed the peoples request for help in the way of laws. Some even thought the Alliance might back the thieves in an effort to have a presence in the many startup planets out on the rim trying to get away from the strict hold the Alliance had on core planets. 

An insider at the factory had provided the sequence number to the vault. The factory has mostly indentured workers. The Insider had worked long and hard, had paid his debt, but wasn't allowed to leave. He provided the combination in exchange for escape and passage to another planet along with startup money. There were only five guards who had little to do. The thieves had a room that secured the vault. The Insider worked every day in the room. They planned to use a shuttle, which would hold the three of them plus the contact and the goods. This way, Serenity would not be connected to this job or be seen by anyone planet side. 

River listened carefully, eating her meal slowly so she could hear the plans over the job. She couldn't look at Jayne, wasn't as friendly as she had been the last month. No one noticed. She obviously had used too much sedative on Jayne. She would have to do more research, maybe use something else. Wouldn't do to have left over symptoms, someone would eventually notice and investigate. She didn't want to wait to touch him again, but she knew she had to be careful. 

She was happy, she had lots to do. She felt she was making progress. She would spend time after lunch examining another drug for Jayne, something that would keep him out, yet go through his system quickly so he wouldn't suffer any side effects the next day. She also planned to change her appearance. She wanted to appear more attractive to Jayne. She knew she couldn't do a complete makeover especially when the only woman that worked on her appearance was the companion Inara. Zoe was always beautiful in an Amazon-warrior way; Kaylee was cute but was usually dressed in coveralls and grease. She thought a combination of their styles would appeal to Jayne but it was an odd mix. Something about the job bothered her but according to the Captain it would be days till they met with their contact. She left to do research. 

Two days later, River was brimming with anticipation though. She had relieved Simon of some of his inventory. She had concocted a mixture she felt sure would suit her purposes. She had also decided to wear her hair back, away from her face. 

It was her turn to cook tonight and she planned to make it special. Simon and Kaylee had been practicing with the knives and were looking forward to another lesson that evening. Book and Jayne finally invited River into their workout, since she was usually there anyway. She had asked them if she could use the free weights and Jayne had given her the lightest ones since they never used them. Mal had been concerned but Jayne promised she would not be using the bench press and that he and Book would keep an eye on her. 

She took advantage of Simon's and Kaylee's interest in defense to study the best way to join in. She knew weapons were out of the question for her at this point, asking Zoe to show her self-defense moves in the martial arts. Zoe promised to set some time for her after the job and if the Captain approved. Impatient, she had spent time looking up tutorials on the cortex, downloading them for practice. She had thought it natural, so like the dance lessons she had excelled at in her childhood, when Simon had walked in. He had thought her dancing. When she corrected him, he thought it a great idea and agreed to learn with her. 

That evening, River received praise from all for dinner. She especially enjoyed Jayne's and Mal's compliments. She was already nervous about her later plans when she started feeling speculation over her from Mal. Jayne, Simon and Kaylee went to the cargo bay for practice. Book and Wash began cleaning up. Mal looked at River and went to his room. She followed. Mal was waiting for her. 

"You know why yer here?" he asked. 

She sighed, "You want to know... something." 

"Saw ya throw them knives few days ago, just gonna get to it. Don't know exactly what 'it' is." He looked at her intensely. "What are you?" 

Her stomach lurched. She wasn't expecting this question. "Captain, I'm a girl, just a girl." 

Mal's brow furrowed. "Both know you're not 'just' a girl. Things been done to you, not your fault. You know things. How?" 

She didn't answer. 

"Simon says you're a genius. Seen you do some crazy things." he continues. "Not lately, kinda like ta see if the sanity thing takes. Hope it does. Have a feelin you got talents yet unseen. Could be all kinds of useful to this ship, or..." He looked at her wondering. 

"Or I could be dangerous." she whispered. 

Mal looked amazed. "Xactly what I was thinking." 

River looked Mal straight in the eyes. "I know. It's about trust. Anyone here could be dangerous, but... we're a family. I wouldn't hurt anyone here. You want me to go slow, but it's hard. I was lost, trapped. Now I'm free and I want..." She stopped herself. 

Mal kept the eye contact, "What do you want, River?" 

She smiled, "To be real, a real girl, for everyone to have what they want." 

Mal smiled back. "Not yer job, you worry bout your own self. Guess I'm not gonna get a real answer. Seems real girl's not always sure what they want - when they are, not much for the sharing." 

River moved to leave. She left Mal with something to think about. "We all have our secrets. I keep them safe." 

She had a lot to think about. She knew Mal would keep a sharp eye on her, probably have Zoe help him. She didn't want to be distracted; she had to get the drug to Jayne. Her need to touch him again was strong, stronger than the fear of getting caught. She knew if she were found out, it would ruin any trust that anyone on Serenity had in her. She told herself it would end. End when Jayne realized he should be with her. 

She went to see how the lesson was going. Kaylee's and Simon's practice had gained some praise from Jayne. They continued for the better part of an hour. Finally giving up, Kaylee complained of a tiring arm. Mal had not joined them. After Kaylee, Simon and Book left. Jayne challenged Zoe to a rematch in which he was victorious. She was gracious in defeat, telling him she would beat him next time. Jayne smirked knowing this wasn't the time to bait Zoe. He sat on a crate to start sharpening the knives. 

River sidled up close to the crate. "Good throwing, Zoe was off." she said. 

Jayne glanced at her, "Is that a compliment or an excuse for Zoe?" 

She smiled, "Not an excuse, truth. You're really good." 

Jayne looked at her again. "You could probably beat us every time, looking to give it another go?" 

River remembered her talk with Mal. "No, not now. Captain Daddy will not approve." She covered her mouth quickly, eyes growing big at letting her name for Mal slip. 

Jayne laughed hard, the mirth reached his eyes. "Captain Daddy? I'd like to see Mal's face when he hears that." He laughed again. 

River put her hand on Jayne's knee. "No, no, can't tell him. Simon says not to call him that." She was emphatic. 

"Calm down, I won't say nothing. Don't want to anger our resident genius. Not with you're aim anyways." 

River caressed his knee as she removed her hand. "I wouldn't ... I don't want to hurt anyone." 

Both remembered the time she slashed Jayne with a knife. Somberly Jayne said "We all do things we regret" 

River nodded "I don't hold grudges." 

Jayne didn't think before saying "What! You forgive those Academy bastards that cut yer brain?" 

River became agitated, she wasn't sure she wanted to talk to anyone about this. "Not forgiven, Can't hold the grudge. They thought they were doing important work. They won't get away with it. One day..." 

Jayne recognized the glint in her eye as murderous. "That one a yer predictions or you got a plan?" 

She answered him "Not time for a plan. Years. Experience. Money. Power. Safety for Simon. Other, like me. Justice for all." 

Jayne was stunned, they held an uncomfortable silence. Jayne finally broke it . "I believe ya, that bounty hunter and Niska's men didn't fare well against ya. Guess it's not healthy to cross ya." 

Jayne thought of his own betrayal, the tension grew thick as Jayne tried to confess and apologize. He stammered looking for the right words. "River, you know I never understood, I mean Simon told me..." 

River stopped him. "You made a mistake. I know. You don't have to worry about it anymore. I forgive you." 

Jayne put the knives down and slid off the crate he had been sitting on. "How? When?" He looked at her. 

She wouldn't look at him "Knew before, ruined your shirt. But you saved us twice." 

Jayne continued to stare."The savin weren't my idea the first time. Guess all in all I got off easy. I am sorry, spect I owe Simon an apology." 

River stepped closer to him whispering "Simon musen't know. No one else can know. I told the Captain he could trust you again. Won't happen again." 

The tension shifted. "You told Mal that? It won't never happen again, I swear." Jayne said voice choked with emotion. 

River smiled at him. "I know it won't. Simon's looking for me, I'm going to go to the mess with the others" 

Jayne nodded " Be there in a minute."  
River left for the mess, thinking she had missed any opportunity for tonight. The intense conversation with Jayne had been unexpected, though she was glad she got to finally tell him that she forgave him. 

The rest of the crew was in the mess sitting around the table. River saw Simon put his notebook away when he saw her. They were talking about her again. She dismissed it, all reports would have been good. The conversation turned to future plans. River sat next to Simon. "Was just about to go look for you" he said. She shrugged. 

Wash said "Hey, maybe if this job we're heading for pays off we'll get some real food. Dinner was so good, can't wait to see what you can do with the real thing." 

Zoe smiled at River "Should I be worried honey?" 

Jayne walked in then and answered "Well you're other skills are slippin." 

Zoe shot back "You had one lucky day, Jayne, don't push it." 

Wash added "None of the really important skills are slipping baby." 

Zoe took Wash's hand and pulled him from the table telling him "Practice, dear is the only way to keep ahead." He followed her towards their bunk waving to the rest of the crew. 

Mal rolled his eyes "Kinda miss the sniping" 

Kaylee cooed "Naw it's sweet, romantic." 

Mal stood "Well on that note, think I'll turn in" Book and Inara also said their good nights. 

Simon said to River "Ready?" She shook her head. "Think I'll make some tea, want some?" She looked around the table for any takers. 

Kaylee declined. "Naw, gotta switch a part out, kinda stuck though. Think I need some help." 

Simon looked to River "It's okay, go help her. I'll have my tea and put myself to bed." 

Jayne told Simon "I'll keep her company" 

Simon went off with a happy Kaylee, looking over his shoulder a little worriedly. 

River couldn't believe her luck, while making the tea she slipped the drug into Jayne's cup and brought it to him. She wanted to hurry and finish, hoping Jayne would go off to bed before the drug affected him. 

Simon took longer than usual to return to his room, he checked on River who feigned sleep. She listened as he prepared for bed. After an hour she got out of her bed, silently pacing, heart pounding, mind racing. Was Jayne alright? Was he asleep? Would she be quiet enough to exit without waking her light sleeping brother? Would Simon wake and find her gone? Was Kaylee or anyone else still wandering the corridors? So many factors still. She opened the partition between Simon and her room. Simon shifted in his sleep. She stayed on her side of the partition. She thought of the conversation with Jayne, it had been so intense, so liberating. She hoped it had been the same for him. 

Jayne was not a reflective man. He was who he was and for the most part accepted that. He didn't usually question his motives. He was feeling good, it had been a pleasing evening. Good food, beating Zoe in their competition, the talk he had with River had beat it all. She had forgiven him. He knew his betrayal on Ariel had been bothering him. The crew had believed River to be a reader, some kind of psychic. That had added extra anxiety to the guilt he was already feeling. Did she know? He couldn't be sure and had no way to broach the subject, especially since before the last month or so he had thought her unreachable, broken beyond repair. But she had known, had forgiven him, even talked to Mal about trusting him again. He attributed his exhaustion to the release of emotion the night had brought. He felt he could sleep easy. No worry of dreams where Mal sent him out the air lock, or told the rest of the crew what he had done. 

He lay in bed thinking about River. He had never understood how Simon had raved about his baby sister, but he now saw some of what he had spoken of. She was young, yet had come out of years of unspeakable things being done to her in little more than a month, with the dedication of a genius brother who was a doctor.. She had saved them all on Niska's space station, they would have lost the Doc and Kaylee if she hadn't taken out the three men. All could have been lost since he and Zoe had nearly carried Mal out of there, they woulda been easy targets. Now she had taught herself to cook, wanted to work out with him and Book, was against holding a grudge, probably a better shot than anyone on board this boat, and had forgiven him. She was now more or less understandable, eager to please, wanting to belong to Serenity's crew. He fell asleep wondering at her possibilities. 

River finally made it out of the room forty-five minutes later. She met no one on the way to Jayne's room. She picked the lock easily, entering his room and closing the hatch quickly. She sat near the bed letting her eye's adjust. He had a blanket over him, his clothes draped over a chair, obviously more in control than last time. 

He slept on his side, facing the door. She slipped her hand beneath the blanket, running her hand over his cloth-covered side. The blanket and t-shirt were obstacles in her quest to touch his skin. She carefully lifted his hand, slipping her fingers between his. She felt the pulse from his skin beating between their clasped hands. Her cheeks flushed as heat slowly ebbed through her. Seems she had waited so long. She caressed her face with his hand, planting small kisses across his wrist to his knuckles. Her tongue darted out to taste him. She took one of his fingers into her mouth swirling her tongue around it, eye's closed she traced his moist finger around her lips, she carefully leaned forward feeling his breath, warm on her face. She angled her head, holding her breath she leaned further, inching closer till her lips pressed softly against his parted lips. She felt a surge of electricity go through her, maker her tingle in all the right places. Jayne was the only man that had caused these new feeling in her. They were intoxicating, suppressing what passed as her better judgment. She ran her tongue slowly across his bottom lip, forgetting her caution as desire overwhelmed her. Still holding his hand she moved it instinctively to her breast, uncurling the fingers to hold his palm against her. She nearly swooned at the sensations. Pulling his bottom lip between hers, she gently sucked. She was close, close to a pinnacle never before reached. She yearned for more, knowing she had already gone too far. She moaned into his mouth before realizing why, Jayne's hand moved on it's own, cupping her breast and running a thumb over her hardened nipple. He started kissing her back, his eye's remained closed as his tongue roughly invaded her mouth. She was on the edge teetering between panic and ecstasy, his kiss deepened owning her mouth, the hand on her breast squeezed her gently before trapping her nipple between two of his fingers, the same moment they pinched her taut flesh, his eyes fluttered, fighting to stay open. The shock sent her flying over the edge, gasping his name, mind blanking to everything but the shuddering release she felt. Every nerve in her body sang, she felt she was floating in the black, part of the universe, unbound, free. 

She slowly became aware again, seeing Jayne's eye's barely open trying to focus on her. He mumbled two words, "River, dreamin" She quietly assured him he was dreaming. "Uh huh" he agreed, his arm weakly went around her trying to pull her closer. She covered his hand with hers easily releasing herself from his grasp. "SSHH Shh, not time yet. Soon, soon. Close your eye's" She soothed him, his eye's closed and he was soon snoring lightly. She hastily left his bunk, in her hurry to get back to her own room she forgot to lock Jayne's. 

The next morning Mal walked into the mess, Kaylee was busy cooking up the morning meal, Book, Zoe and Inara were talking at the table. He sat next to his second in command. "Where is everyone? Could understand bein short some crew if it was Zoe's turn to cook." He smiled boyishly at her 

"Very funny sir." She replied, also smiling. "Wash is on the bridge as usual, sure he'll be along shortly." 

Kaylee said "Checked with Simon,seems River's not feelin so well, I'm gonna take them breakfast when we're done." 

Mal asked "What about Jayne?" No one answered. "Okay then, guess I'll go check it out" 

Mal left the mess, first heading towards the medlab, it was empty. He went to Simon's door and knocked, hearing Simon call 'come in' he entered. Simon obviously wasn't expecting Mal, looking surprised he greeted him "Captain." 

Mal looked around not seeing River in the room. "Kaylee said River's not feelin well, everything alright?" 

Simon explained "Yes, she seems...fine, complained about being tired, not hungry. I'm checking everything out. Could be delayed side effects, a little cold, nothing serious that I can tell." 

Mal said "Glad it's nothing serious, she's been doin so well. Jayne didn't show up for breakfast again, could be something goin round. He have you check him out a coupla days ago?" 

Simon shook his head "Haven't seen him in the medlab" 

"Can't have sickness makin the rounds now, got a job in a few days. I'll be needin Jayne healthy. Check him out for me will you Doc?" 

Simon said "Sure, just have him come by, it won't take long." 

Mal nodded to Simon and left to go check on Jayne for the second time in a week. 

Mal cursed as he realized he had nothing to knock against Jayne's hatch. His fist's would have to do. He yelled "Jayne, open up" hearing nothing from inside, he hit the hatch with both fists, it gave a little. Mal was surprised, not only was the hatch not locked it wasn't even latched. Concerned he pushed it open and climbed down. There was Jayne, still asleep in his bed. 

"Jayne!" Mal called sharply, the big man stirred. Mal called to him again and Jayne's eye's opened. He saw Mal and sat up quickly. "Damn it Mal you gonna make this a habit?" he looked over at the clock "Not even that late." Looking warily at Mal he said "How'd you get in?" 

Mal studied Jayne "Weren't locked, not even latched, not like you Jayne" 

Jayne looked puzzled "huh, swear I locked that" 

Mal asked "You feelin poorly Jayne?" 

Jayne thought on it a moment "No feelin alright, coulda been distracted." 

Mal said "Distracted? Uh huh, get checked out by the Doc, Today." 

"Might be a good idea, ain't got no complaints though." Jayne said 

"Humor me, want to make sure that job goes smooth. River's down with something, want to make sure it ain't catchin." Mal stated. 

"Huh, that so. She seemed fine last night." 

Mal said "Right, Jayne be careful with her" 

"What you sayin Mal?" 

"She's doin good but she's still on the mend. I could be wrong but seems she might have a little crush on you. You notice anything?" Mal asked. 

Jayne rubbed the stubble on his chin. "Could be right. I thought I was just imaginin it." 

"Well don't you go imaginin nothing with her, she's of an age her feelin's are fragile and what with her recoverin and violent past. It's just a fuse waitin to be lit." Mal said 

"Damn, we was getting along good lately too." Jayne said 

"Yeah well don't encourage her." 

"Thought that was the whole plan, crew encouraging her" 

Mal scowled at him "Think you know my meanin Jayne." 

Jayne stood up "You think I'm leadin that little girl on?" 

Mal's voice hardened. "Jayne, know you like being the hero, cept we both know it ain't so, Just think you should steer clear of her for awhile." 

Jayne sounded hurt "Damn you Mal, You know she know's all about that" 

Mal shot back "She tell you that?" 

"Told me and forgave me, but you knew that too." 

"So you two been getting real close have you?" Mal asked. 

"Don't make it out like that, not like I'm seducing her or nothing. Just bein friendly" Jayne explained. 

"Jayne, you ain't friendly. Think I don't notice her around ya all the time, fetching you drinks, hangin on yer every word?" 

"What!? She offers Mal, me and Book. Can't just ignore her." Jayne crossed his arms over his chest 

"Fine, but like I said you watch yerself extra careful" 

Jayne grumbled "Think you're makin too much of it. She's just enjoyin thinking straighter. She's real interesting when she makes sense. Sure she's a genius but don't talk all fancy and stiff like that brother of hers." 

Mal sighed "What does it take to get through to you Jayne? Nother wrench upside yer head? And what makes you think it's right for her to handle weapons? You know I've told her no touchin guns. What with you and her's history with knives you just gonna hand them to her?" 

Jayne was surprised "She tole you about that?" 

"No, an that's almost as disturbin as seeing it myself" 

"Probably didn't see she had her eye's closed. Mal you can't tell me you don't see the prospects in that girl. Like everythin she does, she been doin forever." 

Mal shook his head "Jayne, you let the Doc check you out. Today. Don't need no trouble before this job, you listen to what I said." Mal climbed up and shut the hatch. 

Jayne made his way to the medlab after lunch. Simon and River had not been at that meal also. He walked in on Simon going over some results. "Hey Doc, busy?" 

Simon looked up "It can wait. Been expecting you Jayne." Jayne told Simon how he had felt a few days ago, insisting he now felt fine. Simon did a general physical on him, drawing some blood to test. "I'll let you know if I find anything but you look healthy. I see no signs that anything is wrong." Jayne thanked him and left. 

Outside the medlab he saw River peeking out of her door. He went to her. "River" he greeted her "How ya doin?" 

She didn't look at him "Just...tired." 

"Lot of that goin around" Jayne remembered Mal's warning. "you rest up then, sure you're brother'll take good care a you" He started down the corridor 

"Jayne" River whispered. Something in his memory jarred, connecting her with last nights dream. He swore, color creeping up his face. 

He turned towards her "River, I..we.." He saw the way she looked at him. "Damn, Mal saw you throw them knives, he kinda wants me to keep my distance. Sorry, kid gotta go." He hurried down the corridor cursing himself for the lame excuse he had given her, blaming Mal had been cowardly. He needed to talk to someone. Shepard came to mind. He set out to find the man. 

He found Book in the mess "Preacher can we talk?" 

Shepard Book took in Jayne's troubled state. "Seem's serious" 

Jayne looked around the mess "Not here, need some privacy" 

Book asked "Is this a confession?" 

Jayne faced his friend "Look, I need some advice, think you can shed some light, course I'm hoping this stays tween us." He led Book to his bunk. He unlocked the hatch leading the way in. 

After settling in a chair Book waited for Jayne to begin. "Can't help if I don't know what this is about" he prodded. 

Jayne paced the small space "Not exactly sure, mean, it's come to be about River." 

Book sat straighter. "What about her?" 

"Well you know how she's been hanging around?" 

"Yes" 

"Well Mal seems to think she's gotta crush or something on me, thinks I'm encouragin her." 

"What do you think?" Book asked 

"You been there most a the time, I ain't encouragin her, but I do think she might be kinda sweet on me." Jayne said 

"I've suspected that myself" 

"You think I brought this on myself?" Jayne asked 

"No I didn't say that, from what I understand it's only natural, girl's her age get crush's often on older men. She is isolated, you did save her a few times, and well there really isen't that much of a choice around here is there?" 

"Oh yeah, I'm a prize alright, prime catch. What should I do about it?" 

Book reflected a moment before saying "I don't believe there is anything to be done. She's just recovering from a long ordeal, she's trying to connect with the people around her. She has been more interactive with everyone. Seem's normal." 

"Yeah, but she ain't never been normal accordin to the Doc. Never understood before how he went on like she's so special. So special the Alliance'll do anything to get her back. Can't hardly wrap my head around anyone bein that special." 

"Jayne. In a short time, with all the years of torment she's gone through, I don't know anyone else who could have come through with their life, not to mention their sanity. It's beyond my capacity to imagine what could have been if they had never gotton ahold of her." 

They both were quiet thinking of her lost possibilities. 

"Well preacher, you think like the Captain, I should avoid her?" Jayne asked 

"Not at all, I'd think she would notice that. Could shake her confidence. She is strong yet still so fragile" 

Jayne laughed nervously "Don't want to get on her bad side. Fragile." 

Book raised his eyebrows in question. "You don't think she's a danger?" 

"Preacher, you have no idea what she is capable of." Jayne said 

"What do you mean? Is that admiration in your voice?" 

Jayne told him about the knives after target practice, reminding him of what Kaylee saw on Niska's space station, and how she outwitted the bounty hunter. 

"That is a concern I believe the Captain has taken into consideration, obviously he has you locking your door, she no longer has access to any weapons" Book stated. 

"Shepard, she never had access to weapons, I always kept my bunk locked. Told Mal that. Like I would leave a loaded gun just lying around. Don't know, maybe I am slippin , hatch was unlocked this morning , I swear I locked it. Like a habit." Jayne said 

"Hmm, probably wouldn't be too hard for her to pick a lock, seem's like it could be something the Academy taught her. You think she's after the weapons?" Book looked concerned. 

Jayne hadn't even thought of anyone picking his lock, it would be easy for her. The thought brought back the dreams he had been having that week. Last night's had been surreal, he was there but had no control. It all started to fall into place. "Naw. Not the weapons." 

Book looked at Jayne "You honestly think she would risk that, you could have woken." 

"Not a problem, not really a risk." Jayne thought aloud."Huh," he swore "wonderin why she was showin up in my dreams." 

"Oh Lord, they weren't dreams were they?" 

"Hope to Hell they mostly was" Jayne worried. 

"What happened in these so called dreams? Jayne, she's only a child, half your age! What did you do?" 

"Me? I didn't do nothin , I don't think, sides she ain't just a child, she's a genius. This is all her doin." Jayne pointed out 

Book sounded adamant "The Captain and Simon have to know about this right away." 

Jayne pleaded "Wait, preacher you know I'm gonna get blamed for this. That ain't right. Mal will set me off this ship. Even if he believed me, he might set them off. Hell if he knew she was pickin locks, druggin people..." 

"Good Lord, is that why she knew she wouldn't wake you?" 

Jayne continued. "I know I've been against them bein on board, fugitives is always trouble, just can't think of them out there. The Alliance can't get her back. It would kill Simon, who knows what they would do to her?" 

Book interrupted. "Are you sure this crush is one way?" 

Jayne ignored him "She just started getting better, enough time they could set up on some rim planet, different I.D.'s , fake papers, got a chance at a life." 

"Jayne you didn't answer my question." 

"Could all be temporary like, just part of the cure. Doc's been real handy. In case you haven't noticed crew's got a habit of needin a Doctor. And he's got a mind for planning crime. Seem's the two of them could make this boat pretty profitable. Shame if they never got the chance." 

"Jayne..." the preacher was still waiting 

" I know, I know. Been havin these feelin's. Thought they was from the dreams. You think I'd even look at a girl that age? Okay I'd look but I never thought I'd be that much of a bastard to.. cept me and her are alike in a lotta ways." 

Book reminded him "No, only in one way." 

Jayne was serious "She know's what they wanted with her, She get's caught it ain't just her. The Alliance ain't leavin no witness's" 

Book agreed "It's a serious situation, more reason to let the Captain know." 

Jayne pleaded "I can stop this. I owe Mal and I wouldn't cross him. I just tell her I know what's she's been doin and that she has to stop." 

"You think that would work?" Book asked 

"Can only try, seem's we'd be wreckin everyone's life telling on her. She's a genius, she can get over a little crush. I'll talk to her. Promise me you won't say nothin " 

Book shook his head "I won't for now. You have to do the right thing." 

They agreed to wait, Jayne would talk to River, appealing to her sense of preservation. 

River was not to be found that day, she stayed in her room expecting to be punished for what she had done. 

The next day Mal was preparing Jayne and Zoe for the meeting with their go-between. They would take the shuttle, meet the woman who would provide location and time for the job. They went over what facts they knew. Jayne prepared weapons they would take while Mal went over the course for Wash. Serenity would not land on the planet but would be close enough for the shuttle to return to her when they finished the job. Though Jayne searched for River, he never found her alone, she was always with Simon or some other crew member. The talk would have to wait. 

That evening Jayne went to prepare the shuttle, River was inside sitting in the pilot's seat. 

"River, there you are, we have to talk" Jayne was suddenly nervous when she smiled sweetly at him. "I know what you been up to , it has to stop." 

She stood and walked toward him, he backed up till he was pressed against the shuttle wall, still she came closer, he sidestepped her. "River, did you hear me?" 

"Yes I heard, but I don't want to stop. Are you mad at me?" She looked at him fearfully. 

"Yes, No. I mean it was wrong, all kinds of wrong. I ain't mad just.... It's not right." Jayne felt the lack of conviction in his own words. She advanced on him again, walking backwards till he fell sitting in the pilots seat. 

"No. Not wrong Jayne. Right. I know it's right, I can feel it." River said as she reached out to caress his cheek. 

Jayne grabbed her wrist. He pleaded "River you,re a little girl. You shouldn't..." she interrupted him "Little girl, Big need." 

"You drugged me, broke into my room" 

"Sorry, had to, couldn't wait." 

Jayne looked confused. "couldn't wait? For what?" 

River pushed as close as her held wrist would allow. "couldn't wait to touch you." 

Jayne pushed her back as he stood from the chair. "We have to talk River, you can't be doing this. Captain finds out, one of us is getting put off this boat for good. Is that what you want?" 

"No. That can't happen" she said 

"Can and will" he insisted 

Shoulders slumping she sat in the pilot's seat, tears welled in her eye's "But I know. I know. I need you, Serenity needs me. Can't leave." One tear slipped down her cheek. 

"Aww, Please don't cry, don't..." Jayne felt his resolve slip, trying to retrieve it before it was too late he hardened his tone. "River, get up. See what I mean, you ain't ready for the likes of me. Actin like a spoiled brat can't have her way, tears and fits is something your brother puts up with, but that ain't my way." 

He turned his back on her, chiding himself for his harsh tone. He wanted to clear things up so neither of them would get in any trouble, he didn't want to hurt her or make her cry. When he turned around River was right in front of him, dry-eyed. It sent a shiver down his back. 

"You are right." She said. 

Jayne sighed in relief "finally" 

"I am right also" she added 

"What?" confusion again 

"Tell the truth Jayne." 

"I am" 

"No. you give excuses, the captain, my brother, my age. I will be 18 in a few months. Don't you want to touch me like I want to touch you?" She ran her hand softly up his arm. She looked deeply into his eye's seeing his confusion. "You did the other night, and I know, we should be together. Jayne. I know. Tell the truth." She began stroking his cheek. Her eye's never left his, he closed his eye's trying to break the overwhelming feeling that she was looking inside him. He wrapped her small hand in his, pulling it from his cheek. He felt her pulse throbbing in his hand, sending a jolt of electricity charging through him. 

"River, listen to reason" he released her. 

"I hear you, you're reason is not your own. No captain. No Simon. Truth only." She whispered seductively to him. 

Jayne growled "Don't matter, not right" 

"Feels right, you feel it. I know." She stepped towards him, closing all distance. She slipped her hands under his t-shirt, her warm hands slowly pushed up. Giving him a knowing look that both shocked and thrilled him. 

He pulled her hands from him, admitting to himself that her touch and lust filled eye's knew what they wanted and were determined to get it. This was not some easily disposed of crush. "The truth is..." He faltered, the waves of anticipation rolling off of her "Maybe after you're 18..... Damn it River. I ain't never courted no girl before, don't right know what the whole things about." 

She smiled, feeling victory so near. "courting's the show, for everyone else. We can pretend till I'm 18." 

Jayne was perplexed. "Pretend to court? What's the point of that?" 

She pulled his hands around her, her voice begging and demanding. "Kiss me" 

Against his better judgment, he bent , planning to brush her lips lightly. As soon as their lips touched he felt it, A wild fire of desire enveloped him, she clung to him, shaking with passion. He lifted her off the floor as if she were weightless. She crushed her lips to his greedily. Inexperience slowed them as they fumbled for position amid teeth and nose bumping. Finally finding the right angle, she pulled his bottom lip between her's, sucking gently, Jayne soon deepened the kiss, parting her lips, marveling in her sweet taste. Minutes passed, the heat between them growing. River finally pushed away, forcing him to put her down. Both still panting, she pushed him back into the pilot's seat, climbing into his lap she attacked his lips anew, she ran her hands through his short hair, clasping them behind his neck. Their kiss was deep, sensual, rhythmatic, tongues dancing to an increasing tempo. River was again racing toward the sensation she had felt in Jaynes bunk. She guided his hand to her breast, he eagerly began rubbing and stroking her hardened nub, rocking her gently in his lap. 

River broke from his lips gasping his name. She jumped from his lap panting, moments before the shuttle door opened. Zoe stuck her head in "Done yet, Jayne? Captains asking for you." 

Jayne was not facing her, but turned his head to answer "Not yet, soon." 

Zoe took in River standing nearby, hair covered her face, arms crossed over her chest. There was a strange vibe in the room, Jayne's voice had sounded strange. She stepped inside the shuttle "What's going on here?" She felt the tension in the room, looking around she turned to Jayne "You haven't even loaded the shuttle yet?" 

Jayne caught River's eye, nodding in the direction of the door. She took the hint and silently left. 

tbc 

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